Vision Keeping

August 30, 2010:  Confirmation

I passed a test I didn’t know I was taking.  Yesterday I returned from a 4 day women’s weekend.  I was one of the presenters of the weekend and a participant as well.  I took a chunk of time to teach the group how to use the focus wheel.  I know I explained the focus wheel in a previous entry and I just looked back to see if I could spot it but I couldn’t find it so I will just have to explain it again but not today.

I use the focus wheel which is a process I got from Abraham (see side panel) to raise my energy level.  When I’m not feeling good it is an excellent way to get back on track.  Well, I taught it to the group and it was really an amazing experience for me.  Everyone was so interested mainly because we did some wheels in the group and they worked!   I asked people to bring up a situation, relationship, that causes them frustration, irritation or some level of negative feelings.

It was great to experience the energy shift in the individual while being in the group.  We had fun and several people wanted to work with me individually and that was great too.  It feels so good for me to be able to help someone actually experience the energy shift and feel much better in a short time.

It was confirmation that where I’m going with this in the fall is indeed something I am called to do.  I will speak more about what that is as it develops over the next weeks.  I want to work with individuals and help them feel better.  Period.

I also could hold to my high energy level in the group.  Of course this is a very positive group but I haven’t really had a road test of holding my own new found vibration with a group of people over several days.  In two particular situations it meant saying “no” to things the group leader wanted me to do.  Now that was a test!  The audacity of me saying “I ain’t doin’ it” and the best part was feeling quite okay about it.  No hand wringing, self doubt, whatever.  I felt very clear about what I needed and could state it without having to defend it.  That felt wonderful and very freeing.

There were a couple of people in the group who had been with me two years ago in the same retreat and they commented on how happy I seemed and much different from their experience of me prior to this.  So all this work shows as well.  I was not surprised but it was good to get the feed back.

So, all of this fed my soul and gave me some green lights about where I had thought about going this fall.  I look back to even when I began this website and the shift I have made is enormous…yet not difficult.  It just takes practice, that’s all.

As my new path takes shape I will keep you posted.  That’s what my intention has been all along…to tell the story of how the next chapter of my life emerges as I believed it would. 

With Love, Connie

August 26th, 2010:  A Safe Harbor

I saw Eat, Pray, Love last weekend and thought it was amazing.  Our Julia did a great job and when I realized she was in every scene, that was an amazing piece of work for her and the scenery was wonderful.  It truly brought to life Elizabeth’s journey in her book.

One of the most impactful points in her book was when she decided to make her mind a safe harbor or something like that.  She said that she would guard what came into her harbor with a very deep commitment.  She was not going to let in any more garbage, my words and not hers.  No more petty stuff, no more TV news, no more negativity.  Those were not her exact words either but the seriousness with which she took her commitment and the tenderness with which she treated the subject touched me a great deal.  I wept in acknowledgement when I first read it and when I tried to read it to a class of mine I got so choked up that I had to let someone else read it.

Training my mind to a more positive belief system and stepping into my own power has demanded that I take full responsibility for what I choose to observe.  I watch very little TV, I don’t have contact with some of the people I used to have in my life, I choose my movies carefully that I want to go see, I redirect conversation when it starts to not feel good, I put down a book if it doesn’t feel good.

This came on slowly.  I just didn’t go cold turkey one day but as I became more knowing that my feeling good was the key to whatever I wanted in my life I began to take how I was feeling much more seriously.  I began noticing much more closely to how I was feeling.  And, and I think this is a big “and”, I began to respect my feelings as the guidance that they are rather than just a pain in the ass that I was stuck with as a child. 

You see I’ve always been especially sensitive and used to think this was just a weirdness and a cross to bear but then I began to see that I could also look at it as very sharp guidance.  I could know quickly and powerfully whether something was feeling okay or not and then I can choose what to do about it.  I began feeling appreciative that I was given this gift of being so connected to my Inner Being.  And this is not easy to come to in a society that does not value emotions.

So, from seeing the emotional side of myself as “something is wrong with me” to seeing that side of me as just more evolved in some ways has greatly enhanced my well being as you can imagine.  Wow, what I once viewed as my barrier to my happiness has become the key to my joy.

And with that key I am a good sentry for the harbor of my mind.  I do take my job seriously and as a result my tolerance for not feeling good has gone way down and I will not expose myself to situations, people, whatever, that do not enhance how I’m feeling.  And if I do encounter a situation that sucks, no matter.  I can just use that bit of contrast to take the bounce and expand myself.  Also I have a much greater awareness on just how much control I have over the way I feel!

And with these words I’m off to a women’s weekend which should be rich.

With love, Connie

August 23rd, 2010:  Death and Expansion

My air conditioner died.  While this is Wisconsin we have had a rather eerie summer of dew points consistently 10 to 20 points higher than the humidity levels which have been high as well.  My ac worked like a Trojan 24/7 for weeks never a vacation and constantly spitting water and the cold air looking like fog as it hit the warm air.

This is important to me because I’ve always been sensitive to my surroundings and when it comes to my basic comforts I can feel like God is fucking with me if something like happens.  I become a victim.  My survival instincts kick in and I’m planning my escape to cooler air as if I’m calling for the crash cart.

But my beliefs have shifted.  Hallelujah.  The emergency systems can stand down.  I’m good.  Actually I’m better than good because I can use this contrasting situation as a reason to expand.  Abraham (see side panel) calls problems contrast.  Contrast is something not wanted which causes us to ask for what we do want.  This goes on every day and most of the time we may not be conscious of the process because the asking is in most cases an energetic “rocket of desire” as Abraham says that we launch and that our Source answers…immediately. 

So when my beloved ac dies I’m shooting off a rocket big time for cooler air.  But more than that I’m asking for me to feel better.  I’m asking for a stronger, less fearful self as well.  I’m also asking for a place to live with central air.  That’s the ticket!

Now all of that has been launched as well as some things I haven’t consciously named and it has been answered as well.  Ask and it is given.  So where the hell is it?  All things material are vibrational before they manifest.  The smallest particle of matter is thought.  So my stuff is being held for me vibrationally including my improved self that does not need conditions to be good in order to feel good.

So, I quickly got a repair person to take care of the ac and I took the bounce that the contrast had provided for me.  I became/expanded to that person who is good without ac, who feels strong, joyous even all by herself even with the sweat trickling down.  And that is the real gift in this whole deal.  I feel better.

I also decided to trust my body as well and not worry about what it was going to do in the heat or how it was going to betray me with all kinds of weirdness from crack sweat to a heart attack.  Well, that is a bit dramatic but you get the picture.  I decided that I have this amazing collection of billions of cells that are working together and have the capacity to do amazing things if I can get out of their way.

So as sappy as it sounds I sent love to every cell in my body with the thought of great appreciation for all that it does and all that it is capable of doing and let go of the worry.  I mean it.  I let go.

So, despite my lack of ac I feel enormous appreciation of it’s temporary demise and I feel joyous expansion.  That may sound OTT but it’s true.

So where ever you are I wish you well.  Love, Connie

August 16th, 2010:  Something  Greater

We saw the bright orange Air Force helicopter circling low over the downtown buildings this morning and knew that it was about to happen.  The energy of the small crowd picked up.  People opened their cell phones ready for a picture, the police on horse back into place, the police canine into place, men in suits came out of the building, a lot of men in suits and got into vans.  A man came out of a door around the corner and got into a sherrif’s suv and as he closed the door the garrage door of the building directly behind the suv began to lift off of the ground.  It was happening.  First there was the police car, then the 8 motorcycles got into formation 2 by 2, then, the limosine with the flags on each side of the front  and the Presidential seal came out of the building and turned the corner, then a second limosine with the flags at the front and the seal and a man in the back seat in white shirt sleeves came out and joined.  Following that were about 6  white vans carring lots of people, more police cars and finally a black armoured truck anchored the procession.  We watched the limosenes turn the corner to get on the free way to the airport and watched the bright orange helicopter leading from above.  It was stunning.  I had no idea.  I felt tears in my throat.

What was that?  Why my sense of awe and feeling in my throat?  I’m not a groupie.  I don’t like politics.  I don’t think Obama is any more important or better than I am in the larger scheme of things.  So what is this? 

I think it is the immediate sense of something greater than myself in a visable metaphor.  I know it represented the effort of thousands of people working together to make this whole thing happen.  And it was the metaphor, the representation of an idea.  An idea and an ideal in the flesh that clearly we all want and hold dear.

And the sense of nearly other worldly power I flet.  And then I know that power is in me.  It’s not out there but in here.  In me.  And I just got the chance to “touch” it, to “see” it when most of the time I accept it on faith or I know it by the joy in my heart.

And then I feel such appreciation for this morning I had asked that I become more grounded in the new sense of power emerging in me…and then there is was…the affirmation in the flesh.  We all have that power.

With love, Connie

August 11, 2010:  Dog Days

I can’t remember in the 35 years + I’ve been in Milwaukee that the summer weather has been completely ass.  I’m sure I offending my brothers and sisters living in the Arctic Circle and those living in the Amazon.  But I came to Wisconsin partially to escape the summer oppression of Kansas.  I’ve come home.

However, in keeping with my commitment to feel good regardless of external conditions, and this is a big one, I consider this another contrasting experience from which I can take the bounce.  Whenever I don’t want something, I automatically ask for what I DO want and the part of me that is non physical becomes it.  If I don’t follow the separation between the physical me and the non physical me is what causes my negative feelings.

See, I can justify why I’m crabby about the weather because it is in my face so real.  But I can also notice the uncomfortable weather, know that it is temporary, focus on something else and feel good.  It’s like when someone asked Abraham (see side panel) “how can I feel good when my arthritis is so painful?”  Abraham responded that you can feel depressed and in pain or you can feel hopeful and in pain and the difference between the two is whether you will recover or not.

So, part of me wanted to throw a tantrum at the unrelenting heat and humidity…the dew point must be at least 20 points over the humidity…and say ENUFF ALREADY…IT HAS BEEN 7 WEEKS OF THIS CRAP!  But I decided that I’d apply what I’ve been learning for the last year and expand my energy “as if” I’ve got what I’ve been wanting.  And that really isn’t too difficult because the weather will change. 

So I’ve taken the bounce in these dog days and appreciate my shower and clean clothes and air conditioning and up coming road trip and on and on.  It’s so much better that feeling once again like the Universe has put its enormous thumb on my head and saying “take that!”

With Love, Connie

August 7th, 2010:  Manifestation

The better it gets the better it gets.  I am happy to say I now know this.  After a year of reprogrammming how I think thanks to Abraham and Louise Hay (see their information directly from my side panels, I’m glad to say I’m becomming both more comfortable and more confident in a new belief system that is based on the premise that the best “work” we could ever do is to continually feel as good as we can.  The Law of Attraction which is the foundamental “law” on which the Universe spins does the rest.

If I’m vibrating with the energy of the Source within me and feeling aligned with that energy, not only am I feeling really really good but I have more power than a million who are not plugged in to receive what I’m truly wanting.

For some time I have felt like fall will be my time of the manifestion of my next move to not only provide me with a sense of contribution but also with a flow of income.  I believed that when the time was right and I was in the right place that my future steps would show themselves.   But, I’m getting a peek now and my excitement is amped.

I met with my financial manager, which I was rather dreading but another piece of me believed the news would be fine.  And fine it was…my investments are supporting me well despite all the crap we hear.  That’s why I don’t read a newspaper or watch any news on the tele.  It does not contribute in the slightest to my feeling the best I can so it serves no purpose for me.  As I’m feeling so much better my tolerance for not feeling good has gone down quite a bit.

The other great thing is that my financial advisor has a great idea for me to earn some money and after I return from my road trip to Utah and the Grand Canyon I will begin my new venture.  I would like to write about it but I’m not ready to yet.  There are so many unknowns and possible dips and turns.  But suffice it to say that the proposal he made to me is far better that what I could have thought up on my own and feels so right for me.

That’s what Abraham continually says…if you make your main job feeling good then the Universe can go to work and create something that can come to you which will be far better than anything you could come up with on your own.  And here I am now experiencing that.

And another neat thing is that even if this particular idea doesn’t pan out  (but I have every inclination to think that it will) I know there will be others and I am knowing that I am tapping into the feeling of abundance that the Universe holds.  For the first time in my life I’ve been feeling a sense of freedom and joy that I have never known.  And even in the past few weeks I’ve noticed that my ability to feel joy and stay there rather consistently has strenthened dramatically.

When I go outside the sky seems more vivid to me and the birds soaring over the skyline is more beautiful.  Even with this summer weather that is pushing out more sweat that I thought my body could create, I’m not caring.  I’m more happy to be alive.

I hope no one is gagging at this point.  Our society doesn’t have much empathy for joy…really.  Complaining a bit seems to be more of a univeral language.   Perahps it is because we can identify so much more with someone who is complaining rather that someone who is interminably happy.  I may lose friends, literally.  I may choose more carefully who I want to hang around with.  My spiritual, mental, emotional and physical health is on the line.

Enjoy your weekend with some uplifting friends!  With Love, Connie

August 2nd, 2010:  Closing the Gap

Closing the Gap is like an energetic orgasm.  Interested? 

We humans are vibrational beings, the smallest particle of matter being thought.  This is fact, not theory.  So, as vibrational/energetic beings we have the physical piece of us and then there is a larger non physical piece of us that is sometimes called soul, higher power, higher self, Source, God.  We came to this life experience confident because we have an emotional guidance system.  It is with us so that we can see how aligned…or not…we are with our Source.  So, we came confident that we could stay on track with Source because every time we feel negative emotion we can know that we have become pinched off from our Source.

For example if a friend is rude to us we may feel angry, disappointed, sad, all of which are negative emotions.  This is to say that the Source within us does not see the situation as we have see it.  Our Source always sees everything in a loving light and does not look at things that are otherwise.  At this point we are a bit pinched off from our Source within.  This lack of alignment with our Source is the reason for our negative feelings.

At the same time we experience the negative feelings of our friend’s rudeness we automatically send out a wish or a “rocket of desire” as Abraham (see side panel) would describe it, for a more sensitive friend or whatever it is that we wish at the moment.  And because we have asked (and we need not be cognizant that we have asked) it is always given…vibrationally.  In other words, a better feeling relationship is instantly created and exsists in a sort of vibrational escrow for us.  Everything is vibrational before it is manifested…everything including our Earth itself.

So everything we have imagined wanting for ourselves exists in the present tense in our Vibrational Escrow.  That is how we create our reality.  And in order to manifest what it is that we are wanting we must become a vibrational match to what it is that we are wanting.

So back to the rude friend.  In order to become a vibrational match to the nicer friend that we have wished for we must energetically become that me/person with the nicer friend.  We must feel our way to that place of having the nicer friend and feel “as if” that were a reality.  Another word for that is “taking the bounce” that the contrast of the rude friend has created and becoming vibrationally in sync with our wish.  When we do this we “close the gap” between how we are feeling and how the Source within us is feeling.

And when this closing of the gap occurs and we move back into alignment with Source there is this swell of good feeling “orgasmic” energy.  And WOW.  That is why we came here for the expansion of ourselves to ever greater vibrational beings.  Taking the bouce is taking the expansion that our wanting has caused.  We came here to feel that joy and growth. 

And, as an added bonus, we can now bless those situations that cause us contrasting feelings or negative feelings because they are the catalysts that allow us to expand, closing the gap and feeling joyful expansion. 

I’ve finally gotten my pulse around this baby and life is good.  Traffic frustrating, have a mental orgasm.  Partner irritating, take the expansion and have a mental orgasm.  Air conditioning not working, take the bounce and have an orgasm.  It ALL GOOD!  And perhaps the best part is that when we are feeling good we also become in sync with everything else we have wished for and which exists in Vibration Escrow for us and when we are a match or in sync then the stuff that we have asked for must manifest.

Now this entry contains very simple yet very dense ideas.  To get to where I could really get all of this took a great deal of focusing energy but my God it was worth it!

With Love, Connie