Vision Keeping

December 31, 2010:  The best high ever!

The higher they are the bigger the splat!  Well, after my last post I took a spat.  I felt weepy and depressed in a way that I had not felt in a long time and what was worse was not being able to take the bounce, focus and come back.  Bummer big time.

Our feelings are our divine guidance and tell us whether or not we are on track.  A no brainer, really.  Feeling good?  Great, I’m on track and in alignment with my Source energy withing.  Feeling crapped out?  It’s not bad but it just means that I’m not keeping up with my Source energy.  I’m feeling pinched off from that Love energy and because I have the ability to feel things in an extremely sensitive way, when I’m feeling pinched off it really sucks, big time.

But our negative feelings are really important and so it’s a fine line we must walk as to how much attention to give a negative feeling.  Because attention to something makes it bigger and the depressed part of me does not want to go there!  But because the feelings persisted I did give them some air time.  Shutting myself up is not a good idea either.  We can get so good at denial of our feelings that we lose our emotional Source guidance.

As a BTW, think of what we have done with our divine guidance by denying our emotions and making feeling our emotions bad, inappropriate, unmanly, whatever.   When we deny our emotionality we deny the divinity within.  Now that is deep!

So, it’s an internal dance as to how much air time to give negative feelings….enough to get what is needed but not so much as to attract and create a monster.  Some of us are good at creating drama.  Oh, Lord!

I loved myself through days of being on the edge of wanting to throw myself down on the floor and wail my guts out for nothing I could particularly get my brains around…and then…

I was driving down the street with my faithful dog on the console and screamed, “I’m sick of feeling shitty!  Enough already.  Fuck this shit.”  And the anger was relieving and I knew I was on my way “home”.

The next morning after I awoke I was feeling weepy again and grabbed my energy with determination and at once I felt the emotional floor close under me and it was as if someone put an IV morphine drip in and I came back into alignment so quickly and so firmly that it was an amazing experience.  I’ve had this experience before.  It’s called closing the gap.  Closing that gap between the pinched off me and once again allowing that Love energy to enter.

It’s at those times that I’m glad I’m extremely sensitive.  The upside is that when it feels good, it’s the best high ever experienced.  Of course, I get acclimated to the new set point and it doesn’t feel the same good way but that’s okay.  I will experience it again and again and again and again.  It’s called life.

Happy New Year.  I’m leaving for New Zealand this afternoon and will talk with you from there!

With Love, Connie

December 27th, 2010:  Telling a New Story

You know your story…it’s the way you feel most of the time.  The way your body feels.  The way you “be” in the world.  And if you would put words to those body vibrations, that would be your movie, your biography.

The neat thing is you can change your story.  And because we are vibrational beings, and because of the Law of Attraction (see Abraham on side panel) if we change our vibrations then we change what comes to us and we change our world around us.  We create our own reality through our stories whether we know it or not.  Makes no difference.  We can create by default, or not being aware, or we can create on purpose through knowing what the story is that we are bleeping out there in the world.

I’ve created a new “normal” before.  I’ve upgraded the set point of my vibration many times.  As I have evolved over the past 18 months I have shed countless skins and the set point becomes higher and higher.  The better it gets the better it gets.  But now I’m doing myself one better.  I’m telling a different story.

And the amazing thing is that when I actually decided to tell a new story, when I made the decision, I could feel a shift in my vibration so I knew that something real had happened.  If I feel a shift in my vibration I can for sure expect a difference in what is coming to me.

In my New Story I am entitled to get what I’m wanting.  And I am wanting big.   It was about three years ago when I gave myself permission to want.  Until then, I had assumed that because I was making this much money I was allowed this much in return, blah, blah, blah.  That’s the old storey.  The New Story is not based on reality.  Reality is so over rated.  Reality is what has already manifested.  So, get this, reality is old news.  The present tense reality is what we are creating vibrationally through our desires and it has not manifested yet.  But when we become a match, vibrationally, to what we have created vibrationally, it must manifest.  It is Law.  The Law of Attraction.  And becoming a match vibrationally is feeling as good as if you have whatever, but not having it…yet.  It involves feeling good.  You feel like you have it and it must come.  Not a bad exchange, feeling good.  But many see this as airy fairy, mumbo jumbo, you’re nuts lady.  Like I say, it takes courage to want.

So in my New Story I’m so confident that I will get what I’m desiring because I know that feeling good and feeling joy is my birthright  and that my desires will manifest.  In my New Story I have given full permission for feeling entitiled to receiving.  That is something that is difficult in this culture.  “But that is so self centered, so selfish.”  And yes, it is, because ,yes, I am the the center of my own universe and unless I fully acknowledge that then what I have to offer others is such a watered down version of me.

In my new story, I play the part in this Great Awakening that I know I am meant to play.  In my New Story I have the resources I need to adventure and to play and to enjoy and to uplift to my hearts content.  In my New Story I have the loving people around me that I need and want.  In my New Story I know who I am…fully.  I am Source who has focused in a physical body.  I can be, have, or do anything I want.

On this note I leave for Auckland, New Zealand on New Year’s Eve.  A great way to begin myNewStory with a great adventure with Abraham (see side panel).  Jerry and Esther Hicks are doing a 12 day cruise from Auckland to Sydney and I will be there, front and center.

I will keep you posted and thank you for your lovely comments.  I love reading them.  What a treat!

With love, Connie

I no longer consider my extra sensitive emotional self a curse.  After 40 years…since my 20’s of feeling labeled with an anxiety disorder, depression, throw in the possibility of bi-polar and yada, yada, yada.  When she felt good she felt very very good and when she felt bad, she said, “beam me up, Scotty.”

So, given that every time I experience fear/anxiety I told myself there was something “wrong” with me I have finally cracked the code.  After listenting to Abraham (see side panel) for about 3 years now, I’ve finally “heard” the message.  My emotions are my guidance.  Period.

So, what’s guidance…from where…for what?  Glad you asked.

We are all coming from two separate perspectives.  We have our physical perspective, the blood and bones part of us that sees and smells and tastes and touches, etc.  And yet the larger part of us is the energetic part of us, the Source piece of us.  We live in a vibrational world.  In fact, quantum physics has discovered that the smallest particle of matter is thought.  What the Bleep do We Know is a great book explaining this and it’s a mind blower.  There was a movie made by that name as well.

So, we are vibratonal beings and the larger piece of us is Source energy…the energy that runs through us that proclaims us as alive rather than a corpse.  There was a movie called 15 grams or it may have been 21 grams.  But the number of grams is what has been figured out to be what that non- physical piece of us weighs.  I’m not sure about that one but it’s interesting.  The most interesting thing is that what may be considered as “nothing” actually weighs “something.”

So we are non- physical beings who chose to come here and focus the leading edge of this energy in a physical body.  Abraham talks about electricity and a toaster.  We are both the electricity and the toaster and they must be connected.  For the toaster to work there must be the electricity.

So, we chose to come here and were not afraid because we have Guidance.  The guidance comes in the form of our emotions.  If we are feeling negative emotions it means that what we are feeling…fear, overwhelmnment, depression, frustration…what we are feeling is not in sync with what the larger part of us, our Source, is feeling.  For example, if we are feeling pissed off because of something our mate says, what is really going on is we are seeing the situation in a different way than our Source is seeing it.  Our physical self is angry but Source always sees with the eyes of love…so there is a pinching off within us from our Source energy and that does not feel good.  The further we are from our Source energy the more shitty we feel.   [That is the basic premise and it would take a book to explain it further.  And perhaps I should write a book except Jerry and Esther Hicks have already done it through Abraham.]

The opposite is also true.  The more aligned with Source, the better we feel.

Knowthing that my negative emotions are my guidance, I began to not fear my fear, to not label my negative emotions as a problem, as something wrong, as something not wanted.  I began to see them as my built in safety net, like the bumps on the shoulders of the highway telling you that you are going in the ditch.

Now just think about what this implies for our entire mental health system.  It boggles the mind and I will let that one just lay there.  It’s big.

Have a great weekend, With Love, Connie

December 12 2010:  I’m in the Vortex so where’s my stuff?

I’ve been feeling really good lately.  Better and better and consistently good, not the roller coaster of the past.  I’m actually training my mind to stay in the good feeling places…something our school system neglected to teach us.

Abraham (see side panel) says that when we are feeling really good consistently then we can attract that which we are wanting, our dreams can be fulfilled.  So, what’s with that I’ve asked myself?  I haven’t ever felt this good since I was a child…on a good day… and my bank account is fine but not bulging so I can book that camel trek from National Geographic or the around the world cruise from Princess.

I had a “bite” with lauching a new career which is still in the works but no cash flowing…yet.  I’m ever positive and I believe it will happen after I get back from New Zealand.  I guess I did manifest that trip/cruise to New Zealand but I don’t know if that really counts because I already had the cash in my account.  Is that a for real manifestation?  Yes.

So, the BIG dreams have not unfolded but jesus, I’ve only been feeling really great for the past three months.  In divine time I doubt that’s worth talking about.  And then there’s the thing when I wake up in the morning and just bask in this space of utter bliss.  I write, listen to Abraham, drink coffee and look out of my 8th floor windows in awe that I can even do this.  Sit like there was no tomorrow and marinade in these wonderful feelings day after day.  I never thought I could feel this good and that is quite a manifestation as I see it on paper.  Quite something.

And as I think about it, I think that’s worth a few weeks of enjoying before my life gets more busy which it inevitably will.  So I’m enjoying this luxurious time of wallowing in my own manifested good feelings.  In a world where how hard we work and how much money is coming in and what one can measure, that has taken me some time to deem my just plain feeling better than I have in my life something worth some applause.  There was a time in the not so distant past when I considered not being here because I couldn’t find the feelings I’m having regularly now.

Abraham says we want stuff because we believe in the having of it, money, partner, whatever, we will feel better.  But what we really want is to feel love, to be love.  And then the rest will follow.  Well I’m feeling the love and I’ve decided it’s a good place to stop, take a rest, soak it in, expand it to more and more and more.  I can ride a camel but if I’m not feeling joy then what is it worth? 

I can wait for my stuff.  I have joy.  I have the feeling of being connected to the bigger part of me that is Source energy.  I have a LOT!

With love, Connie

December 4, 2010:  As You Expect So Shall You Receive

I went to my Law of Attraction (see Jerry and Ester Hicks side panel for lots more info) meetup group last night    Because so much of what I write about and what I’m living now goes against the norm I love getting together with people who know my language.

I so enjoyed a woman who was new to the Law of Attraction and Abraham.  She said she used to be a complainer and always expected horrible things to happen, and, of course they did.  We get what we expect, not what we want.  It ‘s because we are vibrational beings.  We are constantly emiting vibrations.  Remember back in the day when we talked about vibes and there were good vibes or bad vibes.  How true that is.  You can tell how a person or a space feels, whether it is inviting and comfortable, or it is just “off” and uncomfortable.  This is the real stuff.

So, we emit vibrations constantly and will draw to us those vibrations which match our own.  There is the woman who keeps falling in love with men who abuse her.  Well, unless she does some serious work on herself she gets what she expects and even though she may wish to find a man who treats her well, inside she expects to get the same crap.

Well, back to my group.  This once complaining woman decided to change what she was putting out to the universe and last night she was absolutely radiating joy.  She simply had to tell us about a trip so St. Louis that she had made recently and what a perfect time she had.  Everything went well, from her baggage to the flight times to the people to the hotel room being ready early and on and on and on.  She kept saying, “This suff WORKS!”  We were all so happy for her.  Her life had really changed and her face showed it.  She laughed because her grown daughter was complaining to her how the shuttle bus had broken down, blah, blah, blah. And she recognized her former self.

Have you noticed how as people age they can become really unattractive.  What was once a beautiful, attractive child becomes a bent old prune at 60.  That is not natural (and I may egaggerate).  It’s because of years and years of getting what you expect…of course on the negative side.  That’s why people tend to get cranky when they get older.  Rather than choosing to focus on what is good in their lives and building a base from there, they probably began as a sort of pessimistic person, who, with years of getting shitting outcomes because that is what they expect, their bodies reflect where their beliefs come from.

The Australian actress who got the academy award for her portrayal of a female serial killer in the movie Monster.   This was a real story and the childhood photo of the woman was shown and she was a very pretty little girl.  As a grown up she looked horrible.  The actress was Charlese Theron (sp) and I didn’t recognize her at all because of how awful she looked for the part.  I thought as I watched the trailer that they must have come up with this homeless person to play the part.

Enough…you get the idea.  It’s all about how you feel about what you are thinking.  How you feel, and feelings can be changed.

Happy feeling good.  With Love, Connie